Salon_1It’s a Thursday and I’m sitting in my stylist’s chair dishing about blow-jobs and highlights. Now, this kind of chat is usually reserved for weekends, and I belatedly realize that I should have lowered my voice when talking about those spicy details as I notice a silver haired, perfectly-coiffed, elderly lady peek around the mirror and give me the stink-eye.  Whoopsie!  Weekend appointments are for the younger crowd where blow-job chat is commonplace.

What is it about a beauty shop that loosens up your tongue and has you dishing about all of the details of your life? It’s therapeutic to empty your soul while your head is covered in foil and your cape covered lap has an open Glamour magazine on it, going un-read of course.

Judging by the crowd of elderly ladies sitting underneath the hair dryers with rollers in their hair- my theory of “you are never too old for the magical healing of the beauty shop” is pretty damn accurate.

How many movies have we seen where the best lines were delivered and the most emotional scenes played out in the beauty shop? Legally Blond, Beauty Shop and  Steel Magnolias are some of my favorite movies and I know I’ve actually described one particular hair appointment as “straight-up Steel Magnolia’s shit” where I laughed and cried all while I was being cut, colored and caramelized.

Hats off to my stylist, Valentina, who is my fairy fucking godmother with her magical beauty skills. She can take this middle aged brunette who is slowing going grey and turn her into a shorter, more mature version of Carmen Electra. I seriously get compliments on a daily basis about my hair and I even got a little nervous when one girl behind the Boston Market counter kept staring at me and saying “I love your hair, I really love your hair!”.  Compliments are great but that girl was a little creepy.

Salon_2So many other services are offered in most beauty shops like waxing and manicures. I absolutely love the tales of waxing adventures my stylist has shared with me. One particular story is so embarrassing but so amazingly entertaining.

Picture a girl about 20-something on the waxing table naked and spread eagled waiting for her Brazilian wax. Now picture the stylist moving toward the girl with the wax. As the wax gets closer to the girl’s private area she nervously passes gas. She profusely apologizes and tells the stylist to continue. As the stylist resumes bringing the wax closer to her vag, the girl farts again.

After the second gas attack, the stylist steps out of the room for the girl to get herself under control. Crazy, but true. Truth be told I totally panic every time I go for my laser hair appointment and pray I don’t get the nervous toots.

The beauty shop stories are numerous and always funny. I love my stylist, she keeps me looking halfway decent and always keeps me laughing.

As Clairee Belcher from Steel Magnolia’s so truthfully and graciously said, “Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”

If you don’t have time for a beauty shop appointment but you do have time for a movie– check out the link here from for 10 Need To Watch Movies For Hairdressers.

See you at the shampoo bowl!